something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize