was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
