Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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