May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
