Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
