I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
