then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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