These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
