fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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