I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
