It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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