Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Randomize
