sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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