bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
This is my gift to your gina
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize