I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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