just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
