Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
