It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize