oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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