The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
