I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize
