I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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