I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
