I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
