I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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