At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
