So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
