i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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