Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
