We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
