Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
