Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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