I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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