so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
