I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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