Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
