Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
