i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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