Non-Jews are for practice
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
