Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Never underestimate the power of titties
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