Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
