So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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