I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
