Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
