He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
