so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
