I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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