dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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