Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've blown a few things in my day
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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