i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
