What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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