Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
