I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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