:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
