pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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