it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
