ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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