I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
